Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Day Before

Pregnant.

I was 7 weeks along.

I had a baby, growing in me.  I hardly believed it when I got the positive test.  It was only our second month trying.  Even though I know this happens all the time, I was still in shock.  How could it be this easy?  We started planning, dreaming, picking out names, researching crib safety and finding out what exactly would be happening in my body in the coming months.  I was fatigued, my chest hurt and I was breaking out like I was 13 again.  It was difficult not telling everyone, but we wanted to wait to tell Hubs' mom on her birthday.

Then on Thursday, I lost my symptoms.  They didn't come back on Friday.  I was freaked, imagining the worst.  But my mom, my husband, and all the websites were telling me that this was normal and to just be thankful.  Then, Friday night, I got sick.  I was never so thankful to puke in my life.  Morning sickness, a sure sign of a healthy pregnancy!  I had a stomachache all day Saturday and Sunday, which I assumed to be a continuation of the morning sickness even though the pain was fairly sharp.

Sunday night, I had a little spotting.  It was pink.  I knew that was not good.  Still, all of these symptoms could have a simple explanation.  It could have been morning sickness, gas pains or just a little spotting that didn't mean anything.  I talked to my mom, I talked to my husband, I talked with Jesus.  When the only prayer I could pray was that our baby would be ok, Hubs was able to pray for strength to follow God's will, whatever that might be. 

In that moment, I was so proud of my husband, and so glad that he was the one I was going through this with.  I was so glad that God was holding us both, because in that moment, we had no legs to stand on.  We were so scared.  We knew that He had a plan, that He would be with us through whatever was to come.  He created this life.  He had our baby in His hands from the beginning, before we even knew that life existed. 

So we went to sleep, exhausted, not knowing what the next day would bring.

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